Neon Zenas: ATTACK!!!

By Franchesca

I was invited by 3 of my coworkers to participate in Colorado’s Warrior Dash 2012. The race fees were a little steep and I wasn’t sure if the timing would fit in with my schedule but when the girls told me that we would be constructing a Warrior Princess outfit made of duck tape, I was in. Yes. Done. Of course I would. With our powers combined, we became the NEON ZENAS!!! Oh Yeah!

Sure.  Much of the time, we compete to win, to earn our personal bests or to give ourselves a reason to train and my reasons to “race” often fit right in, but this race was run out of shear aesthetic joy!  I really wanted to complete a 5k obstacle course in a Warrior Princess outfit constructed of neon duck tape.   We all did; and so it began!

Working with duck tape is no joke.  It sticks to the table.  It sticks to your fingers.  It sticks to itself!  It picks up every piece of hair floating around in your house, but with meticulous craftsmanship our warrior gear began to form.  Duck tape is strong and very durable so once you’ve fastened it into submission, you can cut it and shape it into anything you’d like. Our outfits were fantastic, they were heavy, and completely UN-breathable… But fantastic nonetheless.

The day before the race, I finally read a description of the course.  Nearly all of the obstacles involved climbing and I realized that we just might endure a very colorful (neon) death due to heat exhaustion.  Oh well. We had to jump over fire and risk singeing our skirts.  Oh well.  We “had to” practically swim through waist deep mud!  Heck yeah!  I’m finding dried mud crumbs in my car to this day.

For all of the peril we endured, we four were rewarded with Warrior-sized turkey legs and full steins which made up for the fact that we didn’t win.  It turns out that the race wasn’t nearly the highlight of our experiences.  The best part by far was our costumes!  All of the training was much less memorable than the hours spent duck taping ourselves into Warrior Princesses.  Lesson learned: I will never do another 5k in athletic clothing again.  A 5k is simply a race but competing in a great outfit is an event.  After all, isn’t that what we all sign up for?